"I used to problem solve with my children much differently, not
seeing things from their perspective. Now I feel more respectful of my
daughter. It took some of the load off of me. She took some of the responsibility.
I never thought she could do that. I’m really happy getting that from the
process. I feel she’ll be more comfortable coming to me in the future.
If one doesn’t solve youth conflicts, they’ll become adult conflicts. This
approach helps me identify the conflict when it’s much more manageable.”
--Jeanne Delaney, parent
- The Essence of this Book and How It Can Help You
- What You'll find in Getting Thru to Kids
- Where I'm Coming From
- The Journey
Chapter One: Starting Out Right... and Wrong
- Using Authority Without Becoming an Authoritarian
- The Limits of Rewards and What Really Matters
Chapter Two: Help Wanted: Better Communicators
- The Old is Crumbling
- The New is Emerging
Chapter Three: The Five Steps to Breakthrough Communication
- Deep Communication and Problem Solving, An Overview
Chapter Four: Problem Solving Step-by-Step
- Step 1: Identifying the Problem
- Step 2: Expressing Feelings
- Step 3: Finding the Off Belief
- Step 4: Shifting to the On Belief
- Step 5: Creating the Future
- Implementing the 5 Steps
Chapter Five: Your Role in Getting Thru to Kids
- Keeping Your Self-Control
- Avoiding Power Struggles and Lecturing
- Your Own Processing
- Letting Go of Preconceptions
- Cutlivating Your Communication Skills
- From Crawling to Walking the 5 Steps
Chapter Six: Expressing Your Needs and Concerns
- Falling Prey to Non-Assertive Behavior
- Running Over Others with Aggressive Behavior
- Balancing with Assertive Behavior
- Finding the Balance
Chapter Seven: Putting It All Together
- Example: Dan and his Mother
- Example: Cindy and her Mother
Chapter Eight: A Quick Reference to the 5 Steps
Chapter Nine: Testing the Process
Chapter Ten: A New Beginning
- You Can Make a Difference
Appendix A: Stages of Childhood Development
Appendix B: Developing a Vocabulary for Feelings
Appendix C: Discovering Core Beliefs
Appendix D: Examples of On and Off Beliefs
Appendix E: Getting Thru Visualization
Appendix F: Going Deeper by Using a 5-Step Journal
Selected Bibliography
Index
About the Author
“Adults can get stuck in their own reactions and actually reinforce
negative behavior in children. The steps mapped out by Phillip Mountrose
can change those reactions into positive behavior reinforcement for both
adult and child.”
--Karen Johnson, Certified Clinical
Hypnotherapist
