| 2. HELPING OTHERS WHEN YOU NEED HELP YOURSELF
The following article is an excerpt from our e-book, entitled The Heart and Soul of Being Therapeutic.
This issue is particularly for those who are involved in healing work. When helping others, you want to consider your training and any related laws in your area.
For those of us who do help others, an uncomfortable question inevitably arises: how can I help someone else when I’m messed up myself? If I’m overweight, have bad habits, relationship issues, fears and phobias, who am I to offer my assistance to someone else?
From one angle, if you acknowledge certain issues that you have, you are on the road to resolving them. Of course, you don’t want to get paralyzed by your problems. Taking action on yourself means applying the healing techniques you use with others to yourself. Just as people want your help because they know you can help them, so, too, can you help yourself, even if this means seeking out another healer to assist you.
If we had to be completely healed, issue-free, in order to help others, there would be no healers available. To quote a maxim, “Do what you can, where you are, with what you have.” In fact, trying to be perfect is a blockage itself, indicating that your ego is urging you to be better than others.
Sometimes during a session, you might feel uncomfortable when the other person brings up an issue that you have not resolved yourself. In some cases, the healing that then occurs will be for both of you. In other cases, you need to refer the person to someone who is in a better position to help.
“I’M GOOD AT HELPING OTHERS, BUT NOT MYSELF”
Susan, one of our students, felt that she had already tried so many ways to resolve her issues (regarding weight and relationships), that she questioned her ability as a healer, in spite of the successes that she had. Her limiting belief was “I’m good at helping others, but not myself.”
Phillip helped her by using a Break Thru Process, as described in our Getting Thru to Your Emotions with EFT book and tapes. This process is great for someone who is ready to transcend limitations, such as quitting smoking or cleaning out their clutter.
Susan felt this stuck energy pattern about being unable to heal herself in her third chakra, feeling powerless and victimized. In the Break Thru process, she moved along a road, which in her case was surrounded by dead grass. She then came to a rustic gate. Before going through this transformative gate, she had the opportunity to do a final cleansing. She threw all her remaining fear, sadness and disempowerment into a purple flame of transformation that burned by the side of the road.
She then went through the gate. On the other side, the grass was wonderfully green. She also came into contact with a red-orange healing color, as she began to dance along the road. It reminded her of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz skipping merrily down the road.
Phillip asked her what she now believed about herself. She confidently responded, “I’m a powerful healer, for myself as well as others.”
FOLLOW UP
Three months later, Phillip asked Susan how she felt about this issue of being limited in helping others because she needed healing herself. She commented that she used hiking to help her continue to integrate the powerful shifts from the Breakthrough Process. She said she had gone hiking regularly, and had not had any accidents, which made her feel healthy and reassured about herself. Previously, accidents and self-esteem issues prevented her from hiking regularly.
She felt strong in her body, not a victim of being overweight. She also got many creative ideas while hiking. Susan asserted that she now knew on a deeper level that she could heal herself as well as others.
FINAL THOUGHTS
So if healing others is part of your purpose, you might find Susan’s story particularly relevant. It might encourage you to do your own Break Thru Process.
In any event, we all have a need at times to heal ourselves. It is fortunate we are living in a time when so many healing techniques are becoming widely available. Luckily, you don’t have to be perfect before you can help another. Remember that we are all in this thing together, so it’s natural to help others, taking into account your background, training, and the particular situation.
This article was excerpted from the ebook The Heart and Soul of Being Therapeutic. To learn more about this concise guide to fostering therapeutic relationships, click here.
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